May 16, 2013 § Leave a Comment
He who becomes the slave of habit, who follows the same routes every day, who never changes pace, who does not risk and change the color of his clothes, who does not speak and does not experience, dies slowly.
He or she who shuns passion, who prefers black on white, dotting ones “I’s” rather than a bundle of emotions, the kind that make your eyes glimmer, that turn a yawn into a smile, that make the heart pound in the face of mistakes and feelings, dies slowly.
He or she who does not turn things topsy-turvy, who is unhappy at work, who does not risk certainty for uncertainty, to thus follow a dream, those who do not forego sound advice at least once in their lives, die slowly.
He who does not travel, who does not read, who does not listen to music, who does not find grace in himself, she who does not find grace in herself, dies slowly.
He who slowly destroys his own self-esteem, who does not allow himself to be helped, who spends days on end complaining about his own bad luck, about the rain that never stops, dies slowly.
He or she who abandon a project before starting it, who fail to ask questions on subjects he doesn’t know, he or she who don’t reply when they are asked something they do know, die slowly.
Let’s try and avoid death in small doses, reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.
Only a burning patience will lead to the attainment of a splendid happiness.
April 18, 2013 § Leave a Comment
Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.
December 26, 2012 § 1 Comment
I’m that age in my life where I’m starting to know myself more than I ever have before, yet I’ve never been more confused. At the age of 22, I’ve experiences a good handful of emotions to differentiate right from wrong, but that doesn’t stop me from making a bad decision.
With every decision I make, I’m bound to make a wrong one here and there. But I shouldn’t regret what’s done in the past right? Those bad decisions have shaped me into the person I are today … right?
Maybe I’m just a special case. I’ve found that it’s less regret than it is curiosity. There have been countless days I have played out the scene if I had just made a different decision. Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that if there was an identical situation that was to rise, I would make the same decision over and over.
I just need not forget, life is good. Sometimes I get caught up with stupid things, stupid people, stupid situations of a moment and forget. But when we’re able to do things simply because we feel like it, I’m reminded of how lucky I’ve always been.
August 26, 2012 § Leave a Comment
1. Approve of yourself.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
3. Lighten up and have some fun.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
4. Let go of anger.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
5. Release yourself from entitlement.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.
“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
9. Do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
August 7, 2012 § Leave a Comment
About a month ago, the thought of returning to UCD or mostly San Jose brought up a difficult sense of dread to me. I cringed at the thought of going back into those hundred seated lecture halls and the familiar culture of intolerant stuck up Davis students. But what upset me more was the thought of going back to San Jose where my past was still haunting me.
When I left for Europe, I made sure to leave things all behind. Every broken relationship anchored and every story had an end, I left with no real attachments except my eagerness to learn and love for my family. Leaving was something I realized I was good at.
I have tried writing about what I learned abroad for the past week. I kept a word press tab on this draft for some time now trying to sum up my adventures and experiences into one colossal epic blog.
But that’s just the thing. I can tell you all the things I saw and new foods I tasted, but no one will quite understand what I learned. I really can’t explain it. Something about me just feels different and for once in my life, I feel like I finally know who I am.
I don’t know if it took being 5000 miles from my well crafted life to make me feel like a wholesome humble human being. I just have never felt so small yet so significant before. And it’s been quite a journey, but where I am now is exactly where I want and need to be.